Aliens, Salad and Jeremy Kyle
THIRD PRIZE
Aliens, Salad and Jeremy Kyle by Ella Brown
There’s an alien in my kitchen. Not something you can say every day is it? I was just watching TV when it plodded through my living room and into the kitchen. It was a bizarre looking thing. It looked like a little boy crossed with Gizmo from Gremlins. It was oddly cute.
I stared at the doorframe in shock. It walked through so naturally, like it owned the place. I stood up slowly and walked towards the room, picking up my cup of tea from the coffee table. I hid behind the wall next to the kitchen and listened carefully. It was mumbling to itself. I swung round the corner, throwing the mug at the thing. It hit it right in the head, my tea splashing across the room.
“Ow! What the hell?!” it yelled. Turning around to face me, it looked at me angrily and confused. I stared back, equally confused. It… it was speaking English.
“Why the hell are you throwing hot liquid at me?”
I opened my mouth but I couldn’t string a proper sentence together.
“I… you… what…”
“What’s wrong with you? Use your words, woman.”
I frowned at it.
“Excuse me?” I finally blurted out, “You’re the one breaking into my house! What are you? Why are you here? Are you an alien?” I started to babble.
“Woah, woah, woah! Calm down chatterbox. I am an alien… to you. To me you’re the alien. You’re like a giant meat sack.” I continued frowning. Who knew an alien could be so sassy? “Anyway, I’m here ‘cause I’m hungry and I can’t just walk into a shop. Look how you reacted!”